L@@K Everyone! Fun crap!

For anybody that hasn't played Apogee shareware games, shame on you!!!  Here are a few. I didn't feel like putting Blake Stone or Wolfenstein 3D up on the site because they took up too much valuable space. Can you believe ABN takes up over 3GIG of space?

BioMenace

You're a badass in a lime green shirt and a mullet. If that isn't enough, you've got a funky moustache and are ready to kill. This is one of my favorite games of all time for killing time on a shitty public access computer. Traditional Apogee side-scroller with plenty of dead cops (nice touch). There's a lot of cartoon gore in the game and it has cool scenery. Hey, you get cartoon gore when you kill cartoon monsters. They get scarier later on, but it's pretty hard to get there. Simple but brutal. Just how I like it.

 

Duke Nukem

Yes boys and girls, this is the ORIGINAL Duke Nukem, one of Apogee's first games. The graphics and levels are simple and cheesy, but so are PONG's graphics and levels. Both are great games in their own right. This one is archaic and has great nostalgic value, but is not one of my favorites. Fun to play for a few minutes. Move on to Duke Nukem II after that.

 

Duke Nukem II

This one is definitely cool. It has great graphics for an early Apogee game and even better gameplay. Plenty of weapons, a better storyline, cooler graphics, better enemies, and Duke's attitude is even worse than you can imagine. I can honestly say that I love this game. This is the game that came set the pretense for Duke Nukem 3D (another generation of gaming) and is a classic. Download it. Now.

 

Commander Keen

This rings like DN1, but this time it's a kid with a pogo stick and a ray gun. Same kind of graphics and gameplay, but more "cute." It's a little more fun that DN1 because you get to pick which levels you want to play by wandering around a map. By no means great, but still a classic.

 

Commander Keen IV

This was one of the last (and best) installments of CK before the series was trashed by Apogee in favor of more violent (and less cute) games. I mean, shit, what other game do you go around collecting candy while jumping on a pogo stick? This one has sweet graphics and refined gameplay. This was the last appearance of CK that I can remember, other than his cameo appearance in DOOM II. There are other, harder to find CK games (like where he fights vegetables) but I didn't want to waste space by putting them up on the site.

 

Monster Bash

For once, the monsters are seriously monster-like. No cute shit here. Zombies, severed hands, and a plethora of skulls make for a fun game. You are Johnny, a kid in a brutal set of polka dot jammies and armed with a slingshot. Lots of gore, but the controls feel a little weird and the whole idea of freeing animals just isn't my idea of fun. Blasting them would be more fun, but there are certainly enough zombies to make up for that. Well, almost.

 

Napster

Napster enables downloads of nearly every kind of music and at some very fast connections. If you haven't heard about Napster at this point with the Metallicorp lawsuit, please come out of your hole in the ground and see what life has to offer you.

 

Winamp

It's Winamp everyone! Play your MP3, MP2, WAV, and MIDI files with Winamp, with features like playlists, lots of skin, loads of plugins, and a shitload of other quasi-useless shit! It beats Winblows Media player and Realplayer 7.x pretty badly. Get it.

 

Winzip

Time to unzip all those menacing zip files in a safe and efficient manner. It also lets you zip up your own archives. Pretty useful, standardized, and free!

 

Blood

Definitely one of the coolest first person shooters out there. I kn0w it's a little outdated and the engine is anywhere near the Quake 3 engine, but it's still a great game. What other game to you get to play around with your enemy's severed body parts?

 

Quake 2

Single play mode is kind of lame and gets boring fast. When it comes to multiplayer, this game rules over everything else! Don't get me wrong, but this game seriously kicks the crap out of every first person shooter out there. Fire up a multiplayer game and watch the blood! The blood! The blood! This is here because it keeps getting deleted off the DHS network. Well, this is the place.

 

Worms Armageddon

Turn based strategy game where tiny worms blow each other to pieces using the latest arsenal of old women, holy hand grenades, sheep, and my favorite, battle axes! It runs fast and has good multiplay.